The other day Caleb (my 4 year old) looked at me and said, "Daddy, I want to see Santa Claus." I said, "why?" "Because he brings us presents."
It took everything within me at that moment from saying... "No. Santa does not bring us presents. Everything we have comes from Jesus!" But I didn't. I just sorta played it off by saying, "Really?" And then I just dropped it and so did he.
I know, I know... some of you are thinking I'm utterly foolish for making a big deal out of this, but I just can't help it. Christmas is one of the most important Christian holidays in the year. During this time, we remember and celebrate probably the greatest miracle to have ever taken place... The Incarnation (God becoming man)... to come and be our Savior!! And what do we do in the church? We wrap it all up with lies and myths about some jolly old man in a red suit who gives presents to all good little boys and girls. I can understand why non-believers would emphasize this fairy tale... for them what else is there? But why do we, as Christians do it? There is so much more to Christmas!! Why do we have try to maintain this whole Santa thing?
And what makes it so hard is the fact that so many Christian parents do it. If I tell my kids the truth, and then they go and tell everyone in Sunday school... I'm going to have a lot of mad parents at me. So, what do I do? Nothing. I just let this myth contine. So frustrating!
I have often thought how great it would be if we, as the church, were as devoted to our faith as many Jews are to theirs. Their religious identity is so unique and well-protected, that they don't worry about Santa or get caught up in all the commercialism of Christmas. I sincerely believe we could learn a lesson from their example.
20 comments:
Our kids know dad and mom give them presents and Santa is just a story. I have never had a complaint from a parent. They know the truth from us, but they also know that not every parents tells their kids the truth.
Should our kids be required to protect a lie?
I just tell them to try to respect what others believe, but they get to know the truth from mom and dad!
By the way, about time you posted!!!
I say lets do what Val did. :-) we just really have to watch it at Calebs young age... I can so see him going to church saying to Kolby "Santas not real, your daddy lied" or something like that.. and then parents start getting all weird about it.
Know what i mean?
But we dont have to make a big deal over it.. and hopefully in a year or so when he has more understanding we can explain to him in more detail whats up.
We plan on doing this as well. We are not going to tell our kids that things come from Santa or that he's real, but that he's a story that some people believe. Just kinda not make a big deal over it I guess. But definately not let them think that he has anything to do with why we celebrate!
I came over from your wife's blog. We're having a similar debate in our home! This year our 3 1/2 yr. old gets it more and we went to see "Santa" the other day. She started asking questions and I did exactly what you did--avoided the answers so I didn't lie to her. The problem is, my husband was brought up 'believing' in Santa (in a Christian home) and I was not. I didn't have a horrible childhood and I didn't ruin the myth for any other kids. We're still debating what we're going to do! I really hate lying to my daughter so I'm avoiding it as much as I can.
I agree with gorethoughts!
Okay so I'm a christian and a santa believing household. I was brought up with it and bring my kids up to beleive. I teach then why the holiday is here (for baby Jesus), but Santa brings the gifts. I will be sad and happy to see it go. Happy b/c then they will learn to appreciate what mom and dad did get them, but sad b/c it's part of them being inocent. Still small enought to believe in a fairy tale. But good enough Christians to know why we celebrate the holiday. It's the same as believing dreams really do come true. That you can have a dream and make it happen. Just the same as you can pray for something and it be taken care of my God.
I came over from your wife's blog, too. And I'm sorry, but I disagree with the opinion that raising kids to believe in Santa until a certain age when they find out the "truth" about him, goes against being a Christian. I am more in agreement with what Rosjuane said. You CAN have it both ways while they are still so young, and make-believe allows their dreams and imaginations to grow bigger. All the while telling them the REAL origin of Christmas, too.
Hey Travis! I just had to say something about this! haha! You know my parents are just about some of the most devout, genuine christians you could ever meet and I just have to say that I was raised 100% SANTA. haha my mom played up the santa card like crazy. We wrote letters to him and REALLY mailed them and everything, every year. Even when I would start having suspicians about him being fake my mom would never admit that he wasn't real but would tell brandon and I about the REAL St. Nicholas who took toys to needy children which I guess is where Santa Claus has some roots in?
Obviously you have your convictions and have to do what you think is right but honestly, I turned out JUST FINE. I have no confusion as to where our presents come from or that Jesus is the real meaning of Christmas. So in my opinion (take it for what you will haha) you should not feel morally guilty or anything like that for letting caleb believe in Santa. I now put santa right there with the tooth fairy and the easter bunny. Its just a fun kids thing I think! My family will probably tease me for the rest of my life because of the fact that I believed in Santa for so long, haha which brings up the point that I could potentially resent my parents for lying to me for all that time. But I don't. I know my parents love me and it was not lying to me in a maliciously deceptive way but in a sense that they wanted to keep me as innocent and "young" as they could (i'm sure you understand that, Caleb has grown up so much)
So I guess my point is why not just play along for a few years until he starts questioning you "is santa real" THAT's when you should say either NO or give your kids some big drawn out story of "yes because st. nicholas was real blah blah blah" like my mom did HAHA and I am 99.99% sure they will neither resent you or turn out to have false beliefs, considering they have you for a Dad =) PLUS you can aviod worrying about Caleb breaking it to his entire Kindergarten class that Santa is a fake. lol
ps. To this day my mom will barely admit to my face that Santa is not real. She still signs all our presents From: Santa....
love you guys and miss you bunches
stephanie carr
Our 5 year old has been told since she was getting curious about this great big Santa in pictures at shopping malls - he's a pretend character, just like Clifford or any kids show. No angry letters from parents, no problems at school. I hope that never happens, but for now I'm just gonna pray that the true meaning of Christmas is not put on the backburner.
Someone once told me this is how they explain Santa to their kids, and it really is a great way:
Some people use clowns to celebrate their birthdays and some people use Santa, Easter bunny etc to celebrate Christmas (and other holidays), but we don't use Santa.
I think it covers everything because you just tell your kids you don't use Santa, but let them know some people do and it is OK, you use Jesus they use Santa.
We allow our kids to talk about Santa, go see him at the mall but are up front about the myth of him, and make sure Jesus is the center!
It is really hard with young kids.
I also love how Jewish religion is so genuine and they know why they celebrate, and don't stray form it.
We do Santa. I had Santa when I was a kid. I was raised southern baptist, and was in church every time the doors were open :) I don't see it as a lie to my kids...it's a game....and don't know anyone personally that was adversely affected by "playing the Santa game" when they found out the truth. We strongly enfore the real reason for the season here, and always have. (I don't do Easter bunny; we make Easter 100% about the real reason. I think I do that because it's such a "one day" celebration thing and Christmas is drug out for a month. I have plenty of time in December to reinforce our Savior's birth, with Easter it rolls by so quick)
Whatever you do, it's your household, and you need to follow your convictions, and let other people's thoughts on it roll off your back if you don't agree. There's no harm in agreeing to disagree :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
but let them know some people do and it is OK, you use Jesus they use Santa.
the two are unrelated. that's an unfair statement. We don't "use" anything, we CELEBRATE Jesus, and enjoy gifts from Santa. It's not hard to do both...
I agree with Rosjuane but that is for us,I can definitely see where that would be a struggle,especially with children as young are yours.Praying for you.
I've never really pushed the Santa fantasy either. My daughter was about 5 when she questioned Santa's existence and I gave her the truth. We don't pretend there's an easter bunny either. GASP! I just don't feel comfortable lying to my children and shifting focus onto make-believe characters. I personally think too many people get wrapped up in the gift part of Christmas instead of what Christmas is really about. I try to get my kids 3 gifts a piece. I got the idea from a friend who says the 3 wise men came bearing gifts for baby Jesus so that's how many gifts we come bearing for our chidren. I know I'm in the minority and some people will think I'm robbing my kids of some childhood memory but I strongly disagree with that notion.
I came from your wife's blog and wanted to let you know about a book called "God Gave Us Christmas" by Lisa Tawn Bergren. You should probably look into that maybe and read it to Caleb.
I grew up in a Christian Home and beleiving in Santa! My parents made sure we knew what this time of year was really about! In early December my brother and i would clean out our rooms of toys and cloths we didnt use and we would wrap them and take them to a family who needed them! We knew it was more to Christmas than a man in a red suit who brought us presents. Today so many kids get so much through out the entire year that Santa bringing a few extra gifts isnt even a big deal!
I still believe at 27 and so does my brother at 22 but its just family tradition at my house! We enjoy the time we spend and we know every Christmas Eve we will open MATCHING christmas pjs and take pictures, play games, watch a christmas movie and get up the next morning open presents and travel and spend time with family! Its not about the gifts he brings but the family time we spend and the memories we make with eachother! Some of the best so far. I am very thankful I grew up believing and knowing about Jesus! I also am very thankful my parents made helping those in need first so important. Seeing those families smile and truely appreciate what we gave them was just something you cant recieve by opening a present from Santa!!!
I told my five year old two days ago that Santa wasn't real. That we were celebrating Jesus birthday. I have always been told from the beginning. My son understands that he is not to tell others because that is Mommy and Daddy's job.
I think you are right on track --- just letting the subject drop for a 4 year old. Never actually saying "yes there is a Santa" cause that would be a lie. I never told my children Santa gave them anything - other people do that for you. So I just never agreed or disagreed with other people. My kids could get their picture made if they wanted with a Santa most of the time it was someone they knew so they never really thought about Santa as some real person ~ just someone in a suit! Also I remember the year my daughter didn't want to sit on his lap - and her grandmother said oh you have to tell Santa what you want and I said to her & my daughter "Oh no - you just need to tell mama what you want." We didn't do letters to Santa. They always received surprise gifts and when ask who gave you that they'd just said "it was under the tree" like that was an answer cause they just knew it was there I never told them it was from santa. (so i played along in the point that I didn't say Santa didn't bring it either)
I remember when my daughter one year said to me "I know Santa doesn't bring gifts" and I ask her if I had ever said he did and she said "No you didn't but others want us to believe that." That's when I did tell her that we should just let others think what they want...so she didn't run tell every kid she knew he wasn't real.
Just so you know - everyone in my family thought I was crazy when I would tell them that saying Jesus is real and Santa is real - then explaining Santa isn't but Jesus is was going to be too much trouble. When I was growing up I once thought there was a Santa and I didn't get confused when I found out Santa wasn't real.
Actually we don't know WHEN Jesus was born!So, it is just a hoiday of giving, and feeling good about what you gave.
anonymous,
well, we do have a good idea that Jesus was born in the fall. But Dec 25th is the day that we have designated as His birthday. I don't know about the rest of the world, but for our family... Christmas is all about Jesus'birth, and not just a random holiday to celebrate human kindness.
We are a Santa believing household, but know the real reason for the season! Santa is a way of celebrating. It is the innocence and awe for a child. He is part of the MAGIC of the holiday season!! I was brought up in a very 'SANTA' household, but we knew it was about Jesus' birth. Believing in Santa doesn't mean we can't follow Jesus. I don't see anything wrong with this. I know where I stand with the Lord and teach my children to praise him, no matter how we celebrate holidays!! But these are just my opinions. There are no right or wrongs. It's what each family chooses. Happy Holidyays!!
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