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Something that I have often considered in the past was eventually returning to the church that I was brought up in and being it's pastor (years from now). Maybe it's because for several years while I was in Bible college and Seminary, while still attending my home church, I had such a burden for it. I had a tremendous burden to see it prosper and be used of God to greatly glorify His name and His Kingdom in a greater way than ever before. I knew it's people and I saw the tremendous potential that it had. I believe I even had a vision of what the church could be one day.
But as I sit this morning and comtemplate that scenario, I don't think I could ever pastor my home church. And it's not because the people know me too well or because I had a horrible reputation while I was there or left on bad terms or anything like that. No, the reason I don't think I could ever pastor my home church is because it would mean pastoring my own family... my Dad, my siblings, my aunts and uncles, and so on and so forth. And it's not because I don't think they would listen to me or because they don't respect me. On the contrary, I have a very good relationship with just about all my kin, and I believe they do respect me... they've told me before how proud they are of me, and I've had deep, meaningful conversations with many of them.
No, the reason I don't think I could ever pastor my home church is because, I wouldn't want to pastor my own family. I'm learning more and more that ministry is a very, very lonely life. Whether it's wrong or right, the fact of the matter of is, a pastor just can't be as transparent, vulnerable, and open with the things on his heart as he might need to be or want to be with the people in his congregation and town. Too many times, it comes back to haunt you or harm you. He can't share the struggles that he faces; he can't always voice his deep concerns or frustrations. No, in our culture, he's the pastor and everyone holds him to a much higher standard than the rest of the people. Of course, the Bible says that we're all supposed to be striving for the high standard of Christlikeness, but it seems like people expect pastors to have already arrived, and if he fails to live up to it perfectly, then he needs to be sent on his way!
No, my family are some of the very few people in my life that I can be completely open and honest with, be just as vulnerable as anything, and be just as forth coming as I need to be, and I know they will listen to me, be there for me, and continue to love me anyway. At home where I was raised with my closest family members, I'm not Pastor Travis... I'm just Travis. We all probably have people like that in our lives... and I believe that we all need people like that, even us pastors.
1 comment:
Maybe it's because for several years while I was in Bible college and Seminary, while still attending my home church, I had such a burden for it. I had a tremendous burden to see it prosper and be used of God to greatly glorify His name and His Kingdom in a greater way than ever before. I knew it's people and I saw the tremendous potential that it had. I believe I even had a vision of what the church could be one day.
My dad told me several times that he felt like that towards our church growing up and that's why he stayed there. Now that he's gone it's really suffered and I feel for what the church has become. I hope that one day it will be what my dad envisioned it to be.
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